One of the most basic human impulses is to be needed. We all
crave proof that we have an important role that shows we
belong. Imagine the devastation of finding out that you must
depend on others to take care of your most basic needs. If there’s
a chronically ill person in your household, here are some things
you can do to encourage a sense of inclusion for him or her.
We All Need to Be Useful
Support Your Loved One’s Social Life
Avoid Overprotection
Maintaining Interests
Watch Out for Withdrawal
Some people cope with illness by becoming withdrawn.
Withdrawal can lead to depression. You may need to step in
and take a more active role. While it’s important not to cram
your loved one’s calendar with social engagements, seeing
that a few close friends and relatives keep in touch can make
a big difference. Whenever possible, try to do the same
things you did together before the illness.
If you previously played cards after dinner,
show a willingness to continue the tradition.
But remember, when dealing with
withdrawal, you have to walk a fine line
between inclusion and interference. Respect
for your loved one’s feelings and needs is
the key.
Inclusion is a sensitive topic for me…after becoming ill I noticed dramatic changes in my personality and a greater need for solitude. Being alone and having time to myself helps me to better manage stress, feel calm, and recharge my batteries. As an introvert the world can be a bit noisy and overwhelming. As previously mentioned, there is a fine line to walk when helping a loved one through chronic illness and challenging times. While I sometimes wish I had a few more people in my life I find that I am my own best friend and enjoy my own company. My son is my close family and I have one close friend, that is enough for me. Recognize your needs and how much…or how little, inclusion you need for your own well being. Setting boundaries and stating your needs clearly, and kindly, will help others to understand. Ideally our wishes will be respected. Remember, we don’t need to be clones of one another and what works for some may not work for others.
Be Well. ~Tiffany
Introductory content courtesy of Parlay International - license holder Anderson Therapeutics